JOKES - Rejected Miracles

A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says "get in, get in!" The religous man replies, " no I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle."

Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in God and God will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause "God will grant him a miracle."

With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God.

He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to Peter, I thought God would grand me a miracle and I have been let down." St. Peter chuckles and responds, "I don't know what you're complaining about, we sent you three boats and a helicopter."

- Adapted from Aha Jokes

Quite An Interesting Day

Today has been quite interesting. I had a busy schedule right from the time I resumed in the morning up till now.
There were so many things I needed to attend to. I give praise to God that I have been able to achieve at least 80% of my target for the day. Even if this is all I can achieve for today, I am grateful.
I look forward to an exciting time in the bible study session this evening.

Why Sit Near The Front?

There is a tendency to "spread out" and leave vacant pews in the front of the auditorium. You will never be motivated to sit toward the front until you convince yourself of the value of doing so. Here are some reasons to consider:

· Because it is considerate of other people. People who come in late, especially visitors, want to be seated as quickly as possible. If they have to walk to the front of the auditorium to find a seat it is quite embarrassing.

· There are fewer distractions during worship. By sitting toward the front, you can avoid a lot of distractions that disrupt concentration during worship. You won’t see the latecomers filing in. You mind will be clear to marvel at the Lord during the sermon and to sing with "understanding!"

· The singing becomes more enjoyable. Sitting up front means that all the voices are pointed in your direction. You are surrounded by the sound of harmonious voices singing praise to God. You’ll be stirred to sing more enthusiastically yourself.

· The preaching is better. That’s right. You miss a lot in the back of the auditorium. The expression on the face of the speaker (and the song leader) adds depth to the message being communicated. You will feel more a part of the message (as if the speaker were talking directly to you) if you can read the expressions on his face.

· It makes a positive statement about your interest and involvement in what is happening. Question: When you buy a ticket to a concert, theater or a sporting event, do you ask for the seat farthest away? When visitors see rows of empty pews at the front, what impression does that make on them as to our involvement in worship and our excitement about the Lord?

Blog Improved

I made some interesting adjustment to the layout of the blog today. I hid the blog navbar because of the danger of an innocent visitor clicking on "next blog" on the navbar and landing on a blog that display offensive content. Since I don't have any control on what the next blog that might be displayed will contain. I felt it was better to hide the navbar altogether. The tip for hiding the navbar was gotten from blogger tips and tricks.

JOKE - A Discussion in Heaven

God: Angels, do you know what I was just thinking about?

Angels: What were you thinking about?

God: Christians seem to have forgotten what kind of power they have available and the devil keeps on deceiving them!

Angels: God, exactly what are you driving at?

God: I have made my children in such a way that when the people of the world are sitting, they would be standing, when the world is standing, they will stand out, when the world stands out, my children must be outstanding and when the devil dares the world to be outstanding, my people will be the standards to be used!

Jesus Christ: They (Christians) are also forgetting the words in Ephesians 1:3.

God: Please read it out!

Angel: Praise be to the god and father of our lord Jesus Christ , who has blessed us in the heavenly places with every spiritual blessing in Christ .

Angel: So what do we do now since the end is almost near?

Holy Spirit: My Presence is still among men and I will teach and remind the Christians of all that we have discussed. I will also make sure that they pass this message on!

Jesus Christ: I will also keep on interceding for them and stand in for them even in their weaknesses.

God: I will also make sure that I give to all those who ask of me, seek me and try to find me. The blessings I have promised them through my son Jesus Christ will be delivered to all those who discover that I, Jehovah, I am ready to bless them! Not because of any special things that they have done, but just because I LOVE THEM!

Jesus Christ: I will also give all my followers who are willing to pass this conversation on, enough strength to carry on!

Angels: We are all backing THE TRINITY and even the devil cannot stop us! How funny! Christians are finally taking over and .......

Devil (eavesdropping behind the gates): I hope you all heard! I will deploy more troops (demons) and make sure the Christians pray less, read their Bibles less, preach less and make sure this mail does not move anywhere! Also.....

You sure heard that! The devil will make sure you do not pass this on but prove him wrong and show him the power you have in Christ Jesus as a Christian. Pray more study the word more and preach the word! Do not disappoint God ! Pass it on!

Sent via email by my Big Sister Opeyemi

Good Success Doesn't Come Cheap

Whao! It is true that good quality doesn't come cheap. For over 12hours or more, I have been crawling round webpages looking for ideas on how to improve the appearance of my blog. It has not been an easy task.

The effort has been fruitful. However, I have new challenges accompanying the ideas that I just discovered. For example, I found out that I can actually alter a lot of elements in my layout that I thought were "unchangeable". However, to do a very good job, I need to improve my knowledge of HTML. I need to learn some new tricks. I even need to register with some Google Groups.

Success trully doesn't come cheap. Since I am determined to make this blog interesting for my visitors and fans, I don't consider these challenges as unsurmountable. I will just keep at it. One day at a time. One step after another. I beleive in just a few months from now, I will be proud of what I have been able to accomplished.
Cheers.

First Trade Alert SMS

Well, I guess my registration with the Nigerian Stock Exchange has finally sailed through. I received my first Trade Alert SMS notification just now.
Next week I am going to complete my registration with CASHCRAFT. I look forward to a wonderful weekend.

JOKES - The Old Pastor Is Dying

An old pastor was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home.

When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the pastor held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The pastor grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.

Both the banker and lawyer were touched and flattered that the pastor would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the pastor had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness, and avaricious behaviour that made them squirm in their seats.

Finally, the banker said, "Pastor, why did you ask us to come?" The old pastor mustered up his strength and then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go."

JOKES - Try to help the people!

Try to help the people
A big, burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.

"Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400."

"How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife. "May I ask who you are?"

The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I'm the landlord," he sobbed.

Steady Movement

The First Bank share is making a steady movement in terms of growth. Today, it has added another 2.22naira to its value. That is a whopping 13.67 gain for those that purchased its public offer. Quite interesting isn't it. Let's keep watching the trend. I bet it will soon overtake Zenith Bank share.

I said it!

The elephant is really moving. Another 2.12naira change today. I guess the NSE is going to witness a great the miracle of a leaping elephant. FirstBank is not just moving it is leaping. This is interesting.

A Busy Day

It's been a busy day, but very exciting. I learnt new things about blogging and I made several changes to my blog. Tried to change my blog's layout but had to revert back to the original layout because I didn't like the new look I arrived at after the alterations. However, I settled for a streched out layout so that I can make more use of available spaces.
I guess I've done enough work for the day. Still looking forward to read comments from visitors. I've not had any up till now.

RCCG 55th Annual Convention

The Redeemed Christian Church of God will be holding her 55th Annual Convention from 6th August to 12th August 2007. It is going to be an exciting and refreshing time in the presence of the Lord. For more information you can check here.

KJV Bible in my Phone

Do you have a java enabled phone? Then you might just be able to install the complete KJV of the bible or the American Version in your phone. The software is free and it works excellently. You can download your free copy from Go Bible Home

Whao!!! The Elephant has started moving

Whao !!!! First Bank shares made it's first movement since the last public offer today. The elephant that has been standing on 40.40 prior to the last public offer has now moved for the very first time since then. But it is a great move from 40.40 to 42.42. That is 2.02 leap just in one day. I guess a lot of trader are simply going to be very excited.

Well for those that bought the public offer, they have to wait until the certificates comes out before they can benefit from the increase in the share price.
I personally believe that the elephant will not stop moving until it overtakes Zenith and get to somewhere like 65.00

It might be a long wait. But I believe it is worth the wait.

How long does it take to get a CSCS account?

Hey it has been a week since I applied for a CSCS account with Nigerian Stock Exchange through CASHCRAFT. I have not yet gotten the account opened. This is somehow discouraging. I really would love to start trading in stock after so much encouragement from friends and colleagues. I wonder what the problem is. Naija bureaucracy I guess.

Knowledge is Power

An old friend who we did our MBA together came visiting today. He gave me more insight into the lucrative business of trading in stock. He explained that it is more profitable (even though it is more risky) to trade in stock than to just buy and hold.
I was really challenged by the wealth of information he has. Yet he has just spent 3years as a stock trader. He told me that it was a Pastor in his church who educated and encouraged him to go into stock trading. According to him, the Pastor does no other work than stock trading having retired from NNPC at the age of 49years.
I am seriously challenged. I've got to double my effort. Meanwhile, I learnt that Access Bank public offer is out at N14.90. Beloved I'm going to buy some for my family.

Hmnn.. A Bitter Pill

I visited Pastor John Hagee website (www.jhm.org) today and I came accross an interesting article. After reading it, I felt I should share it with you. It is actually one of those bitter pills that one just have to swallow so as to have a healthy christian life. Find the full article unedited below:

“Here is a verse of scripture you will not find underlined in red in any charismatic Bible. It's a sermon you'll never hear preached upon, but it is one of the 3, 000 promises of God. Therefore you need to know it. My mother would love this verse.

‘For whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth and scourges every son/daughter whom he receives.’ (Hebrews 12:6)

Not some of them, but every son whom He receives. The point of that is this. When Christians go through tough times, they have a tendency to say this is spiritual warfare, because that's a lot more romantic than saying God is kicking my posterior for my stupid choices. See what I'm saying here?

The problem is your predicament may have nothing to do with spiritual warfare. But it's spiritual to say it's warfare because it makes you look like you're a warrior, and you're in a dog fight with the devil when really it is your own doing that has you where you are.

It wasn't spiritual warfare when the prodigal son was in the pig pen. His own stupidity put him there.

Choices have consequences. Galatians 6:7, ‘What a man sows, he shall also reap.’ That doesn't change when you get to be a Christian. If you do things that are contrary to the Word of God, God will see to it that you get punished. That's not spiritual warfare. That's the consequences of your choices.

But here is the very obvious point I want to make in this. That if you go around calling God's discipline spiritual warfare, you live in deception, and God has to continue to discipline you until you admit you're the problem. Think about that.

This is not warfare. It's the consequences of your foolish choices that has you where you are in the violation of the Word of God. We blame things on the devil that embarrass the devil. Think about that as you go through the dusty path of life.

May the Lord add His blessing to the reading of the Word.”

– Pastor John C. Hagee

NIGERIA IS GETTING BETTER

Praise the Lord! Nigeria is getting better. The Federal government is beginning to set good examples by obeying the rule of law. That is about the best step we can take towards becoming a great nation.
It is never acceptable that a nation have separate laws for the rich and the poor. The bible frowns at the situation where someone is treated based on his material possession (James 2:2-9).
If the rule of law is respected by everyone, the society will become a better place.

I'VE GOT A TESTIMONY TO SHARE

Praise the Lord! Somebody please shout a big Halleluyah on my behalf. The Lord has just delivered me from shame. Here is my testimony:

On Saturday the 21st of July, 2007. I borrowed a camcorder from my office. It is the official camcorder that is usually used for recording during site visits. The camcorder is a SONY handycam. The camcorder has three mini-DVD disc that was purchased with it. Since the event I was going to record will be over an hour, I decided to take along the 3discs.

In preparation for the event, I backed up the content of the discs to my pc hard-disk. Unfortunately, after successfully backing up the contents of 2 of the disc, I decided to check if I will be able to return the content of the discs back so that when I am true with my event I will be able to transfer back the content of each discs since they contained official recordings.
I successfully transfered the content back to the first disc using NERO software. However, when I inserted the disk back into the camcorder, I was greeted with an error message that the disc is invalid.

I panicked and started employing all the knowledge I have about discs in order to make the camcorder recognise the disc. While doing that, unfortunately, I missed up the faulty disc with another disc that was ok. I had already giving the reformat command on my desktop pc before I realized that I have made another mistake. To cut the long story short, I ended up with 2 discs that have been rendered invalid.

At that point, I was very unhappy and I made frantic effort to get help from the internet. Unfortunately, my search on the internet only confirmed my worse fear. The discs can no longer be used on the camcorder. So I was left with just one disc which can only record for less than 30mins and two invalid disc. At that point, I remembered to pray and I quickly left the office to attend the lecture I was having at Jesus House Parish that afternoon.

Today, (monday 23rd July, 2007) I made a call to a friend who sells computer accessories. He called back that he was able to get Imation products that are exactly the same capacity with the damaged SONY mini-DVD discs. I told him I will come and pick it up.
However, I decided to check around on my own to see if I can find SONY replacement for the discs. Unfortunately, the one I got was 3times the price of the Imation product. Reluctantly, I went and picked up the Imation product, (fearing that it might not work with the camcorder because I read on the internet that the camcorder is very choosy).

But praise God!!! It worked perfectly. At first when I inserted the disc, I was greeted with a message that says "SONY RECOMMENDED" I ignored the message and clicked on FORMAT. Holding my breath, I waited for the camcorder to finish the format. Halleluyah!!! It was successful. I used the camcorder to record and take pictures. The production was the same.
I give God praise for saving me from embarassment. It was easier explaining to my boss what happened to the original SONY DVD discs while holding the replacement. It would have been a big embarrassment if I was unable to get replacement.

I am grateful to God and all those brethren who remembers me in their prayers. Shalom

City Of Love, Good Women Weekend 2007

It was indeed a wonderful and educative time I had on Sunday, 22nd July, 2007 in the auditorium of RCCG City of Love Parish, Rivers Province 2, Portharcourt.
The Good Women Fellowship of the parish ended their week long 2007 Women Weekend Celebration with a thanksgiving service. The service was spiritually rich. There were varieties such as; High Praise and Worship Session, Recitations, News in Special English and Short Drama.

The most enriching part of the service was the message which was delivered by Pastor (Mrs) Abu. The Lord used the woman of God to minister to the entire congregation. After the ministration, about 70% of the women went on their knees at the altar and made a new commitment to the Lord to start living their lives as virtuous women as recommended in Proverb 31.
After the service, the women entertained everyone jollof rice accompanied with assorted fruit drinks. It is surely a day to be remembered.
I had a nice time. Thanks to the Lord and the women executive committee who planned the program.

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How I wish...... NIFES, NCCF KADUNA 1996...

Sometimes in life, one does not really appreciate the value of a thing until it is lost. I have been opportuned in this my short stay on planet earth to meet with some wonderful individuals. Men and women who are rare species.
Unfortunately, while they were around me, I never took time to enjoy the relationship I had with them to the fullest level possible. Youthfulness got a better part of me. I took a lot of things for granted.
Now, I want those same people back. I want an opportunity to chat with my old friends in NIFES Uniport (1989 - 1995). I want to chat with my brethren in NCCF Kaduna (1995-1996).
I wish I could spend another 1 hour chatting with, Bro. Senoh, Bro. Joseph, Sis. Mary, Sis. Ugonma, Sis. Wobia, Sis. Boma, Sis. Owaji-bram........
I really would love to hear from Sis. Seye, Bro. Kunle (photodrama), Bro. Leye, Sis. Bolaji, Sis. Edo.......
Whao I really, really, really, wish I can just have a chat with...............
Beloved, wherever you are right now, I pray that the Almighty Father of our Lord Jesus Christ will keep you strong in faith so that, when we get to heaven, it is going to be one great happy re-union.
Shalom !!!

What is Port Harcourt turning into?

Wait a minute! What is really happening in Port Harcourt? I just discovered that the same stressful dog life I ran away from (in Lagos) is what is forming right before my eyes here in Port Harcourt.
When I relocated to Port Harcourt in 1987 to join my Uncle. I was very happy that I have escaped the hustling and bustling lifestyle that Lagos has become internationally known for.
I was so happy about the serenity of the environment and the kind nature of the people. I did not last a month before I genuinely gave my life to Christ.
Now, 20years after, the story has changed. Port Harcourt seems to be worse than Lagos as far as I am concerned as an individual.

• Bad Roads
• Lack of electricity
• Dirty environments
• Hostile people
• High crime rate

The only thing that has kept me from regretting settling in Port Harcourt is the church! Yes, the church makes the whole difference. It provides a place of comfort away from the hostility that pervades the entire city.
I meet and relate with brethren from different tribes and different works of life who despite my tribe treats me as blood relation. I give thanks to the Lord Jesus for this.

The Lord is Faithful and Merciful

It is another bright new day. The weather down here is bright and cool. I am grateful to be alive and healthy. Reported at work today before resumption time. Even though I feel sober because of the things I have read and watched in picture, I have joy that "it is well with my soul".
If not the Lord, I would have really been depressed by the sights and sad news prevailing in my environment right now.
Lord Jesus, I am grateful that you've not allowed me to experience trials that I cannot cope with. Thanks for your mercy. Thanks for your faithfulness.

Investing in shares

Hmn, at last, I've taken the very first step in starting my own stock trading. Many friends and colleagues in time past have tried unsuccessfully to convince me that stock trading is not the same thing as gambling.
Well, at last I've gotten rid of the old fear of loosing my savings. I'm ready to take some risk and create residual income. Afterall, I can't remain a bean counter for ever (smiles).
I actually visited CASHCRAFT today. I was shocked to note that the address posted on their website was wrong. Maybe the phone lines are wrong too. Cos they never went through.
Well the staff I spoke with was nice. She politely answered all my questions (some must have sounded stupid I guess). At the end of the conversation with her, I walked away feeling happy that I have taken a good step towards becoming an investor.
A nice one.

My First Step

I've been longing to share my thoughts on various subject with friends online. I never really consider using a blog until today.
Now I've made up my mind that it is time I start my own blog. It is time I put in writing the thoughts that flows through my mind each passing day. Halleluyah, it is the beginning of a new adventure.